She sat alone with her thoughts on the rocky beach. Her legs exposed to the setting sun. They were slightly numb and she hadn't realized how long she had been sitting there. Waiting always waiting to be moved or inspired by something or someone. And yet, it never seemed to come. It was as if everyone around her felt serenity and she was lost in her own turmoil.
I best be moving on then, as she stood up to take the long and winding beach trail that would lead back home. The salt and sea filled the air while gulls hovered overhead looking for any piece of scrap that may have been left behind. Stupid dump ducks, she thought, what is your purpose? She pulled her large oversized flash light out of her bag as was customary for this time. The path was getting dark and although she could find her way home blind folded, she found it better to have light. She was heavy into her own thoughts again when she heard the unceremonious sound of a very loud engine screaming up the road. Stupid motor heads what is the point? A mystery of the man world she would never understand even growing up with two older brothers.
The evening started as they all did. Still unmotivated to write the last chapter of her novel she stood staring blankly out the bay window as she sipped on a glass of Pinot Grigio and wondered out loud. How did I get here? It was the unanswered question that was driving her half mad. It was only after the brutal attack that had stripped her of her dignity and pride that she succumbed to the depression that was always lurking in the shadows. It had been almost a year and the fear lingered, sitting in the pit of her stomach. A constant ache, that never subsided even in the comfort of friends and family.
Enough of this! She slammed her wine glass down on the table. And as if she was being tugged by a force greater than hers she found herself prepping for a night out. Unskilled in the ways of applying makeup she forced herself to do something to cover the dark circles and the protruding cheek bones. She applied eye shadow that was more to accent then to add color. Her eyes had a way of changing color depending on what she wore and tonight she wanted them to be gray blue. Sparingly, she applied a swipe of black eyeliner to further attain the goal.
Her hair was long and to her waist. Not so much by choice but really by necessity. Hair styles cost money and money wasn't pouring into the bank account these days. She was built with an athletic figure and attempted to do some form of exercise daily, if only to drown out her own thoughts. After picking out an inappropriate pair of jeans a pink top and boots, she grabbed her wallet and headed down to Stella’s. As she was leaving she turned around to look at her small space in the universe. Twinkle lights sparkled in her windows year round, illuminating the windows with a warm light. She sighed and thought, it’s not all that bad. Sometimes.
When she entered through the heavy red painted door of Stella's, Welcome To The Jungle was blaring through the bar. There was no need to smoke at this particular bar. The room was heavy with it. It always made her think of her favorite book Poodle Springs. There is a part when Philip Marlowe is greeted by a woman and he thinks to himself, "Her perfume hit me like a Rhinoceros." it made her chuckle just to think about it.
She found her usual spot at the bar was being occupied by what looked to be a man who walked straight out of 1955. Not the clean cut flat top type but the brooding bad boy type. He was holding a pool cue in one hand and tossing a drink back with the other. She couldn't quite make out the features of his face and decided that it was definitely nobody she knew. Quickly she surveyed the bar for an empty seat and found one in the far left corner under a ridiculous blinking beer sign. She sighed and resigned herself to unwelcoming seat.
Frenchie! She heard from across the bar. And before she had a chance to reply a shot of bourbon was sliding across the bar in her direction. She smiled. She loved Jack. He had been tending bar at Stella’s for as long as she could remember. He was a burly hulk of a man with dark sad eyes. She almost got him to tell the full story one night while they were doing shots and he was suppose to be cleaning up the bar. He couldn't and she never pressed him on it again. What she did know about Jack led her to the conclusion that he was a good man. Honest and caring for the most part but had a temper that gleamed red hot if provoked. Jack was her savior. Had he not forgotten the left over steak he had set aside for Luther she would be dead. She shuddered at the thought.
She tossed her bourbon back shook her head from left to right to left again and slammed the glass down on the bar. How ya been Jacks? It’s been quiet around here without you Frenchie, I was wondering if you were ever coming back. Well you know, she said with out knowing. I've been busy with finishing my book. Oh, I see. Jack said to her leaning over to dab her nose as if she were two years old. And if I were a bettin man I'd say your nose just grew a foot! He half chuckled at her and half sighed. Frenchie, he said as he poured another bourbon. I see you up on those rocks every day. I leave you alone because its not my nature to go pokin bob cats. But you've got to get past this. You look like dog shit.
In her heart she knew this conversation was coming. If she hadn't come to Stella's he would have come to her. Maybe that was the driving force for just coming out tonight. I know Jacks and I'm trying, I really am trying. She was so grateful for his friendship and all that had happened over the last year. And it was all starting to hit her at once. She felt her face flush and her chin turn into the likes of a walnut. What is this? Jack boomed. I'll have none of it. Now, take this beer and take your skinny ass over to the pool table. There's a good game going on over there. You may just learn how to play yet! And with that he went back to taking care of those people from away.
Jackass! She shouted at him with a smile. He was right she did suck at playing pool but really did enjoy the game itself. She took a long hard drink of her beer and it was then that she saw him looking directly at her. Ahhh, she thought the dangerous man has an even deadlier face. Unsure about what was happening, she slowly put her mug down on the bar. Why was he staring at me like that? Does he have x-ray vision and can see something hanging out my nose? She hated when this thought popped into her head. It was an automatic reflex that made her swipe at her nose in a very un-lady like way. The Dangerous Man chuckled and began walking in her direction.
No no no no no! I can't do this. Panic had filled the already fear infested belly. This is why she hated sitting in this seat. You had no where to run, nowhere to hide. The Dangerous Man was standing before her now. The only thing audible was the maddening sound of her heart. If it beats any faster I may die she thought. His hair was dark brown, almost jet black. It was difficult to see because it was all slicked back in a pompadour style. It fit him she concluded. What was distracting her more were the color of his eyes. They were hard, judgmental eyes but she could stare at them all day long. Is it wrong to tell a man he has pretty eyes she wondered? Are you going to be sick? he asked her. Wha What? No! She snapped. Already this was going as predicted in her head. I'm sorry he said back to her. You just got really pale and you were staring right through me I thought something was wrong. The color immediately came flooding back into her face and she was again uncomfortable. Jack tells me that you could use some help learning how to play pool. He handed her the cue. I gotta few tricks up my sleeve I can show you. Reluctantly like a three year old who has to go to bed, she slid off her bar stool and walked over to the pool tables with the hottest man she had ever laid eyes on. I knew he was dangerous and she tossed back the rest of her beer.
Nerves were getting the best of her but slamming back another shot of bourbon wasn't going to make the situation any better. She looked up to see Jacks smiling at her. She flipped him the bird and tried to focus on the game of pool that was in her opinion an epic fail. After seven scratches and two wrong eight ball calls she decided to call it quits. It was getting late and she had promised herself that she was going to wrap up the loose ends of her book. The publishers were breathing down her neck for the last part. I've got to go she said more gruffly than she meant to. Why did her nerves make her sound like a bitch? He turned to her and she was not sure what to expect next. His eyes hooked her again into that dream like state. What was behind those eyes, she wondered. What were they seeing in all her awkwardness? Please, he said. Allow me to walk you home. It’s not that far she replied. I can manage it on my own. Suddenly ill at ease and wishing that she never came out. It is dark out he said. And my father would never forgive me if I allowed someone as pretty as you to walk home alone in the dark. Christ, she thought he's chivalrous too? He reached out his hand and brushed her hair away from her eyes. She felt flush again.
They stood there for a long moment just looking at each other. The only thing that came to her mind was the movie Made in Heaven with Kelly McGillis and Timothy Hutton. As if she had spent life time after life time with this man. She took his hand and looked at him with a devilish grin. Fine! Walk me home! But that’s it and she gently punched him on his arm. He feigned a wince and grinned. Satisfied with himself he picked up the cues to put them back on the wall. She walked up to Jacks. He's going to walk me home Jacks, if I don't call you in fifteen minutes come find me ok? Jack winked at her. Don't worry kiddo you're safe. I've known that guy a long time. Use to play hockey with my little brother until he blew his knee out. To bad, he was a great skater. Fast as the wind that guy. Got it Jacks, but I'm still gonna call you. She blew a kiss and turned to go.
They walked in silence feeling awkward. The liquid courage that had started the pool game was wilting away. What was it about this man that made her feel so comfortable and terrified? She began searching for memories that provided a similar feeling as the one she felt right now. She couldn't find one.
So, Jack tells me that you're a writer? Yes she replied startled by the sound of her voice and annoyed that she had let herself slip into her own mental fertilizer. I write crime novels. Really? He replied. She laughed out loud at his apparent shock. What? You think I write Harlequin "soft porn" books for the desperate house wife? It was meant to be a joke and came out like a bark. He was surprised by the verbal assault but apologized regardless. I'm sorry he said sheepishly. I didn't mean to imply, and she cut him off. No, no. I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you. I anticipate people to say that so I'm automatically on the defense. I'm the one who is sorry. She stopped abruptly and turned to look at him and without realizing it had reached out to hold his hand. Apology accepted and he gave her a little wink.
He had remained true to his word. He walked her to her door waited for the sound of the lock to click and left. She leaned her back to the door and let out a sigh. She was tired and mentally exhausted. The night had proven more interesting than she planned. She thought of Jacks and how good it was to see him. He was a good friend, her only friend. She placed her wallet and keys in the large seashell on the table and it hit her. She never got his name. You’re such a moron! She said out loud. Proof, that she had zero ability to participate in the game. She phoned Stella’s and informed Jack that she was home safe. With a shaky voice she said to Jack. I need to ask you something and if you laugh at me I’ll come right back down there and kick your ass. Jack paused trying to figure out the seriousness of her tone. Like I said Frenchie, it’s not in my nature to poke a bob cat. She couldn’t help but smile. The man I was playing pool with. What is his name? Jacks roaring laugh came crashing into her ear. Ohhhh Frenchie he replied. You are funnier than you know. With that, she hung up the phone, humiliated and went to bed.
