Finding Balance

Is there really such a thing? My mind is in a constant state of disorganization. Or maybe a short attention span.

Very early on in my relationship with Geoff we recognized the need to set aside time that was solely dedicated to just us. He was working different hours back then and on weekends. I was doing the 8 to 5 grind with weekends off. Our down time was always spent without each other.

Thursday nights became "DateNight" and I swear we coined the phrase because we were calling it that twenty years ago. This tradition continues today and has been the saving grace on many of an occasion. I love hearing the following question from my husband. " Can we have date night tonight? " We can have date night every night if you want! Although that tends to be a little expensive.

One of the key ingredients in our relationship is that we have always felt a need to keep the lines of communication open. Not that we don't talk on a normal basis but when you make the executive decision to shut the rest of the world out for a few hours and dedicate that time to your relationship it makes a world of difference. Even when we were broke and could only afford Mac-N-Cheese. It was putting the effort in and recognizing that it may not be fancy and ritzy but we are still calling it date night.

Marriage is hard. I love being married but it takes a lot of work to manage yourself sometimes let alone being an assistant manager to someone else. Over the years we have heard so many times, "If I could only find what you two have" It is a complement and an insult all at the same time. There are plenty of times that Geoff doesn't "like" me very much. That coin definitely has two sides. Most of the time we are blissfully happy and stupid but we have our moments. Some of them have been extremely challenging and hard. But with a little work, and a lot of love it usually works itself out.

We try to give each other enough space so that we each feel that we are our true selves. I think it is important to always have that sense of individuality. To do the things that make you, you. I've never wanted to morph into all of Geoff's likes and hobbies because honestly some of them I just don't enjoy. Just like he doesn't enjoy all of mine. The trick is to see how you can take pieces of that and merge them into something you can do together. For instance, he likes to paint duck decoys, I like to paint pictures. Although two different activities it is something that you can do together while doing what you want to do. There are also times when we do things on our own. Sometimes that is needed too.

I'm always amazed when I hear from both men and women this question. " Geoff is OK with you doing that? " As if I'm doing this without him knowing about it. There isn't anything I go off and do that he doesn't know about. If I want to go cackle with my girlfriends he has the same right to go talk about tools with his guy friends. We all need to feel that we are still connected to the person we have always been. So as much as we need to ensure that we communicate and spend time together. We also need to allow each other the freedom to feel that their sense of self still exist.

Life tends to get in the way more often than not. As far as I'm concerned nobody is going to judge me for how much laundry I completed when I die. There will always be another load waiting to be done anyways. And I've yet to receive a gold star from anyone when ALL the housework is done. That's how we try to find balance in the Pike World.

Now if I could only find that other sock...........