Pen vs. Computer

Recently I stumbled across multiple journals that I had written from the age of 15 - 21. I was such a tortured soul. Or so I thought. Its funny to read about all my teenage angst and drama. If I ever had the opportunity to chat with my teenage self I would tell her to lighten up!!!

Its interesting the songs that I would write down in my journals. Remember learning the lyrics to a song on the tape recorder? Play - Write - Pause - Repeat. I think the beauty about the journals that I have from that time period is that I never scratched the words out. They were all honesty post. And, in the event that someone happened to read them, "Oh Well". It was my outlet, my pages to vent anger, happiness, sadness, happenings. Mostly it was very dramatic and I know the exact moment that I stopped writing in my journal. I met Geoff. I wrote one maybe two entries about him. But in reality I was to happy to write. So I tucked my notebooks away and never looked back.

I miss writing on scraps of paper and taping them into my journal because I had a sudden flash of what I considered brilliance. I miss the joy of finishing a notebook with all my handwritten entries. The joy of flipping through the pages one at a time pouring over the pages of my life. Knowing that a coffee stain was because I was sitting at the counter of a Dunkin Donuts in Dover NH smoking ciggs and feeling very Artsy Fartsy writing my observations down.

Although I do enjoy my blog even more so. I don't think my blog will ever offer me the same feeling as completing a notebook but it does allow me to add a different feel. Technology has allowed me to show my personality in a way that I could never do before. When I think about the network of people who do blog and share pretty much everything I am amazed! Imagine if we had the access to information then like we do now.

But the ability to share your journal with a group of people was not really a reality in the 80's. Journaling online or on a computer never really occurred to me until Dr. Doogie. Even in those days I thought it was sterile. Storing your most precious thoughts in Word Star, how geekie.

And yet here I am. Geekafying my life. I love my blog. I love writing down whatever comes to my mind. I love that people actually READ it. I love that I'm connected to people that I may not otherwise have the opportunity to be connected to.

But I still love opening those old journals and flipping the ancient pages of my past. Pages that remind me I was right even then. I always told myself that something better would come along. Something so fantastic. And it did. And here I am. Living the life I always wanted to live.