Monday Musings

steve came home on a tuesday afternoon

it was 8/7/2012 to be exact.

geoff and i had a ton of anxiety happening.

could we

handle this

are we

ready

and the typical nervous nelly nerves one has when getting a new puppy

stever came in on an airplane

flight 314 delta

we

never did this before either.

this ride up to portland felt like an eternity

finally after the longest 45 minutes

we arrived at the jet port

from there we were totally lost

nobody seem to know what was going on

and when you already have high anxiety

it can escalate at a rapid rate

because

doesn't everyone! care that you are getting a new puppy today?

after a good hour of waiting

they finally brought out a

howling

frustrated

scared

little doggie

and then he was all ours

to love

hold

squeeze

and call him

steve

the ride home was a piece of cake

a little wolf howl here and there

but he did perfect in his crate

and geoff and i could finally relax

for the moment.

upon his arrival to the compound

he was greeted by everyone

we played and wrestled

and even dudes seemed happy in the background

i can assure you his attitude changed dramatically

shortly after he relized that

steve

was living with him

his cupa-cupa mug brought him some tennis balls

and soon after all the excitement was over steve settled into his new home.



musing on a monday

every so often you see something that completely throws you back in time. the smell of bread and my grandparents house, schlitz beer and my uncle roger, deli and auntie denise [i miss you auntie denise and love you still to this day] metal coolers and beaches with the family.

when i read or watch the news i am overwhelmed by the state of affairs and wonder if we didn't have so much access would we be so terrified on a global level. i think about what it must be like to be a teenager or even a "tween" [whoever invented that i would like to stomp on your big toe.] we never worried about shootings in school we never knew anyone who committed suicide or family's committing murder suicide.

in retrospect my child hood seems like a fairy tale. the days of walking to school alone without a care in the world singing at the top of my lungs. going to jackies diner around the corner from my dads office to have a snack before going to gymnastics. riding in the back of my parents station wagon on family trips because i was able to be alone with my own thoughts and not have to deal with my two older brothers. you know when all the crap was jammed into the way way back and there was just enough space to jam a small child too. no seat belts no worries.

or what about the late night games of flash light tag or capture the flag with neighborhood kids. or having to be back to the house when the street lights came on. and if you were really convincing you could make mom ring the giant cow bell to call her heard back to the barn. sledding down mitchells hill and having to duck quick so you didn't get snagged by the bobbed wire fence. when you fell off your bike you earned that battle scar and you got right back on. even if it hurt really bad.

goals were simple: can i actually leap frog all 5 wooden post at school today? when will i actually be tall enough to get over the last one? and never giving up until you did it. hanging upside down on the monkey bars with one foot and miraculously lifting yourself up. swinging as high as you could until the chain buckled and wondering if you could actually make it all the way around. the feeling of the wind and your own power making that happen.

when you lost you lost and you felt the agony of defeat. and no matter what agony you had you never wanted to be that skier on the abc sports intro. when you won you won because you earned it and you worked hard. you deserved that win just as much as you deserved that loss.

when you learn at an early age that just because your best friend sumi is japanese he is just like you and gets scrapes and bumps and his mothers teeth are the same color as yours. even though they look different from you. you are accepting at an early age because you are taught to be kind.

there are things that you are sheltered from because they are not appropriate for you to hear or see and your parents are your armor. they support you in every aspect but they do not force you even if they do disagree.

and i worry all the time that kids today have no concept of how great it was. i worry that they are being protected in a way that does not allow them to develop as a person. i worry that there is so much fear, hate and doubt that they will never truly know what love really feels like. i worry that they wont know how to love not just others but themselves.

how did we get here? how could we possibly let our society just crumble right before our eyes. we stand here with our memories and are paralyzed to make it better. i am the cog in the wheel because i don't know what to do. i stand by the only beliefs i've ever known. love honor cherish [forever] do to others as you want done to you. be kind, be fair, be patient. give when you can and listen when you have to.

when i talk to anyone 38+ they seem to share this same theory. when i talk to anyone 30 and younger i get a blank doe eyed stare.

if i knew then what i know now right? i would have told a lot of people i loved them more. i would have made uncle roger take me for more rides in the mustang and i would have talked to auntie denise longer when she was alive. i would have stayed to hold peps hand for those few precious hours and i would have visited mems more. and it all just goes by so fucking fast doesn't it?

what are your favorite memories growing up?