on a cool, clear september morning i drove to andover massachusetts for work. i jammed down 495 to the 213 loop and sped my way into the breakdown lane so i wouldn't miss my exit. i raced into the office with the reluctance of a teenager who had to deal with the principal every day of her life. my day was booked solid.
i was upset. unsettled. i had a difficult night. it was filled with nightmares. unfortunately not out of the ordinary. i've been having random nightmares for as long as i can remember. to discuss most of them would certainly validate my tossed key upon entering the rubber room.
my dreams on the night of september 10th were of planes. planes that were colored in red blue and silver. a plane so big that it swooped into the city street just out of my reach and crashed into a building. then another and another and another.
i don't think i can describe the sickness in my stomach when i heard someone yell out that a plane had hit the world trade center. i didn't need to be told that it wasn't that bad because i was on the phone with a customer when the line went dead. i wasn't sure at all what was going on only that i had seen pieces of this in my dream. right down to the color of the plane. i sent out over 300 emails and received one back.
one.
the pressure that i felt building in the office. people scared, people crying, frantically trying to get a hold of my parents to see if they heard from my sister. the sound of my dad's voice when the tower collapsed.
a terrible moment for the entire world. we all lost so much that day. i pray we never live long enough to see anything like that happen again.
the words never seem to come out right. i've tried for eleven years and i still can't do it.
my heart will forever go out to all those people who today still grieve who still hurt. life changed forever for all of us for all of them.
never forget - to tell your parents you love them. your brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, dogs, everyone and anyone who means something to you.
days go by.
don't let them slip away.
I will always think of you on 9/11. I knew that you commuted to Massachusetts for work, and as soon as I learned that two of the planes had taken off from Logan, I was terrified for your safety all day. I remember when we finally got each other on the phone and you exclaimed to me "We're HERE, with our guns and our dog!" That made me so happy. I remember us saying that we loved each other, and really very little else.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a little girl, and the Gulf War was so televised that we watched it in school, I remember coming home to Mom and Dad petrified that we were going to get bombed. I remember them telling me that wars were fought overseas, that no one would touch United States soil after Pearl Harbor. That made me feel so safe.
Looking back, being 19 years old when 9/11 occurred, not a child but not an adult by any means either - it was shattering to me. It changed my entire perception of the world, forever.
But, man, oh, man, do I remember that phone call. Sending you a big hug.