drowning

is it possible to drown above water?

i've got it coming in all directions

does anybody remember those blow up punching bags with the sand on the bottom?

i think i use to have a fred flintstone one.

you would smack it and it would come right back up.

i must be a glutton for punishment 

because i keep coming back up.

people in all there infinite glory 

have an amazing ability to

disappoint

hurt

blame

not all

but lately most

and not only do i feel like i'm sucking air through a straw under water

i'm in the murkiest of murky waters

my spirit is crushed

and i feel that i'm constantly failing

i get that you can't always be winning

but sometimes

it would be nice to feel like you're doing it right

and not be 

judged

for every single action you make

life

is sometimes a pain in my ass

if i could scream 

i would 

break sound barriers

then they would lock my sorry self up

so i'm wallowing in a pity fest

big deal

i'll get over it.

i always do.