excuse me....what's your BMI?

Bake Sale BAN [click on the link]

i recently read this article and i can't seem to get the context out of my mind. so pardon me whilst i expound my opinion.

first i would like to say this.

i'm a 41 year old female

i work out 5 to 6 times a week

i walk my dog every single morning

i try to drink my water every day

m - f my meals go like this

yogurt, banana, salad, cliff bar - dinner with a salad and a veggie

i wear a size medium to small shirt [even though i have a gorgeous / real rack ]

i wear a size 10 jean

i am 5'2 and i weigh 165 pounds

according to the BMI calculator

I AM ONE OBESE MOFO

this story has infuriated me on so many different levels i hardly know where to begin. according to the BMI calculator the only thing that would make a difference for me is if i weighed 120 pounds. let me tell you something america. i weighed 120 lbs when i met geoff and i was so under nourished he use to bring food home from his parents house to feed me.

when i got married i weighed 150 pounds and i was a skinny bitch in my wedding dress. have i packed on a few over the years? yes. am i the role model for health and fitness? hell no. i like to think that i'm out there trying so what else matters?

the fact that a committee of people have come up with the idea that banning bake sales [or the sales of cupcakes, brownies, rice crispy treats, chocolate chip cookies as examples ] and expect people to sell healthier options couldn't be any closer to a i know better than you mentality. the simple fact! that you believe you can improve the obesity problem in this country by selling healthier foods at a bake sale goes well beyond my pea sized brain of comprehension. i tell you now and mark my words. you heard it hear first people. we are on the brink of......

SUGAR PROHIBITION

soon enough the loud speakers will be up on every corner telling us to change one little bad habit a day. we will all bow down towards our nations capital and thank our elected officials for having the mind share that circulates in the great think tank that today i only ate tofu and greens. i will praise my medical community or maybe they will praise me for not being a burden on health care. i will dump my sodas down the drain, bury my cupcakes in the sand a bid farewell to that crappy life i was living before.

at every turn every human being, illegal immigrant, and proud american will be fit. we will be pale because the sun is bad, we will build our indoor hot houses and grow our own organic foods and never again will we have to worry about someone pooping in our spinach patch.

at the dinner table as i am using an eye dropper to drizzle my healthy oils onto my salads i will look into the eyes of my one true love and say. "i'm so grateful that our local, state and federal governments all got together to tell me how to live my life" "where would i be if i still had a cupcake once a month? or quarter? or year?"

i will grill my tofu marinated in low salt soy sauce and give thanks not to God but to my government. i will gladly accept the financial burden of my countries mistakes. i will go to my job everyday not to better my own life but to better the existence of others. nothing is more important than sacrificing everything i have for the children of our future. teach them well and let them lead the way. or is it, teach your children well their fathers hell did slowly go by. but feed them on your low fat not your dreams and know that your government loves you.

when i drive down the road in my battery operated car that is fueled by electricity that is made from coal, i will be so grateful to no longer see the golden arches of my youth but instead see giant kale leafs with signs that say "a global community served" and at the magic hour that the chip inside my head tells me that i must exercise i will do so with a smile on my face. i will never complain about having to workout again. i will never have to worry about the pain and struggle it is to remain healthy at the ripe age of 41 because my elected official is going to take care of me.

in fact according to how i'm suppose to live my life nothing terrible should technically happen to me. right? i mean if i follow the rules and i do exactly what they say and everybody else is abiding by the same rules then we should have a perfect society. RIGHT?

lets get real people i saw demolition man in the 90's and thought how ludicrous a society is that? we are on the brink. the pot is about to boil over. i don't know if i should go to colorado or vegas. but i stand here today with my belief that God should remain in our pledge of allegiance, that moderation is key, that my money is my money and shouldn't go to some bottom feeding looser who shoots up drugs and abuses their kids, that working out hard will always make you feel like shit the following day and no amount of aleve will ever make my knees feel better. i will cook with butter and half and half because there is no way in hell that skim milk and pam spray can replace flavor.

and if this labels me as a capitalistic facist good. i would rather be that than a marxist socialist.

all you do gooders out there trying to tell me how to live my life can kiss my slightly tanned ass.
 

Edgar Friendly said it best: You see, according to Cocteau's plan, I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener".