A Post From The Dude

So, you know sometimes....when you're walking in the woods and something somehow gets jammed between your toes? Well maybe you don't, cause my Maaaah only has two legs and not four and she wears these things on her paws that confuse me. Anyway...a few weeks back I was walkimating in the woods with MUG [My Unkle Greg] and my dumb brother Agustus/ Gus / Gustopher / Dummy and I had a little accident. A long long time ago MUG was walking us in the woods and my dumb Dummy brother snapped his leg right in half. MUG was on the hairy edge of despair that day but we'll save that tid bit for another day. I was limpinations and carrying on about how much pain I was in so my People took me to My Friends Place [the VET]. They cuddled me and told me how handsome I was and gave me some antibioticamanationatations and all seemed to be OK. 

Little did my People know. It was not in fact OK. It was however all wrong. My foot blew up like a cave man club. My People started calling me "chub foot" which would be funny if it were someone else. So they brought me back to my friends place. The following pictures will be known as Exhibit A - E for the law suit I'm pressing against my People for being so stupid. 

exhibit A - this is what I look like on morfmein.

exhibit B - this is what sat in my foot for 3 weeks

exhibit c - actual size

exhibit d - i know nasty isn't it??? wait until the next one....

exhibit e - underneath. my maaahs hand is covering my personals. you ain't ready for that show!

So, now I'm going to be in pain with a rubber hose hanging out of my foot until Thursday. Whatever day Thursday is. I got me some drugs to help make me feel better. If you would like to send a care package my way like, dog treats, blankets, toys etc feel free to email me at oskarpike@gmail.com I'm also open for consultation to proceed with my suit against my dumb people.

The End

xo