Free Form Friday - Kids v. Dogs

So, when are you going to have kids? You're getting up there, you guys better hurry up! I want to have a baby. Will you have one with me? How do you live with out children in your lives? I can't imagine how you go through life missing out on the best part. Children make you complete.

This is just a sampling of comments directed towards Geoff and I regarding our childless lives. We have apparently not reached the "correct" age where these comments will cease fire. I'm looking forward to that day. Right up there with menapause. Maybe my banner will read " Happy 50th Birthday you Childless -Crabby Menopausal Lady"

When I was in my early 20's I wanted to have a baby in the worst way. I had a great job, Geoff and I were "so happy togetherrrrrrrr". And every child bearing woman I worked with was having a baby. I mean every one. I knew more about painful boobs, fluttery mid sections, kiegles, natural vs c-section and that morning sickness is not restricted to the hours of 12 AM to 12 PM. And that any smell, small or large can trigger this factor at any time. Not only can the smell of something trigger this impending doom but the thought of the smell can induce mass vomiting as well. I knew about swollen feet, back pain, backpain that made your feet hurt. Crying and crying because the sky is blue or the grass is green. I was embedded in a baby factory and was more the punching bag then a team player. I was the one who got the calls of Hooray! I'm pregnant straight down to I'm in the hospital with an IV to stop contractions. Can  you come and see me? I was the go to person for celebrating and mourning. I also became the "your not a mother friend" to the "you remind me to much of that aweful day" face. 

Now, don't get me wrong. As some people feel a sense of superiority on this matter. I love kids. I think they are amazing little replicas that will in the end cause you to turn into your mother or father. Whichever the case may be. However, time marches on and pretty soon you find that time has marched right over that clock thingy that never seemed to go DING DING DING! for me. 

In my early 20's and I mean, when I was 20 the idea of having a baby was just that. I wasn't married. Geoff wasn't ready to be married and I still had some "things" to sort out. So I made a deal with myself. I'll start having kids when I'm 27. Well, when I was in my late 20's Geoff and I were happily married after a long twisty road to get there. And having kids just didn't seem like the right time. Our lives had taken on much more responsibility then making sure we had rent money and we needed to sort out the structure of these changes. We did however get a dog. You can read about my beloved Schultz here. This seemed the wiser of the choices. Ease us into being responsible law abiding citizens. It was also during my late 20's that I had what I've termed "My Mid 20's crisis". I didn't know what I wanted to do career wise. I felt over whelmed and very lost. I walked away from a decent career and found myself starting at ground zero. Financially this left us pooched. This situation didn't last to long and I ended up going back to what I knew best. However, having left the party left me with having to start all over in my field. I'm fairly certain that had I stayed people would either bow or curtsy. No I'm just kidding. I had a great gig. 

However, I was approaching my 30's. Geoff and I seemed to be making a good life. Our debt was obliterated and so now seemed like a good time to broach the subject. After many long conversations about when the right time would be [amazing we thought having kids would just be handed to us] we set a date. We were off to the races....so to speak. And then............[I add the .... for the long pause...................effect]. I thought I was. I nearly had a melt down. I was terrified! What have I done? This changes everything. I like the way things are. Why would I want to change them? And there was Geoff. "It will be wonderful", "Everything will be fine". "We are going to make great parents" And then..........I was wrong, I was not with child. Oh thank you God you must have sensed I would have been a life wrecker. A destroyer of all things sacred. Giving life to the one human being that will go into years of therapy only to write a book about the sacrafices the child had to make because its mother was a crack-pot. The child that would write the book entitled "The Purposeful Mistake" and an inscription that reads. Thank you Mom, this book is for you. And I will have to go on Oprah to defend my little name. And cry and embarrass my child to a level even I or they did not know existed. And thats just a snapshot of the hysteria I went through that week "thinking that I was". 

It was this small journey into the unknown of Parenthood that allowed me to put a super glued pin into that. And now, as I approach my 40's I find my self thinking, I feel whole. I feel happy, I  have felt loved and I have loved. I continue to have all of these things in my life because I managed to find the one person who could provide that for me and to me. I may not be "The Mother" to a human being but I am a "Mother" in so many different ways. The way I figure it is, the female population isn't going to stop producing babies just because I didn't. And thank GOD for that! Instead of genetically inducing malfunction I can freely add a little splash of me. Something the little people can say in their later years - "Remember when we went to [insert whatever fun park] with Auntie Money? or Remember the time we hid behind the fridge and scared MOM and DAD half out of their wits with Auntie Money or Remember the time Auntie Money said it was OK to use the house paint as finger paints when Mom and Dad were trying to sell the house? Yup that's the kind of memory creator I am. Getting the point yet?

All of these little hints have enlightened my love of dogs. I need unconditional love because I'm a cracker jack. I'll eat all the caramel popcorn - steal the prize and leave you with all those nasty roasted peanuts.

Well....maybe I'll save you a stick-on-tatoo. I'm not that cruel.