Plussie Galore and a Turbulent Rant

i'm going to deviate from my normal blog format to actually write something today. i would like to introduce you to a blog friend - interweb friend and all in all awesome lady. Kristi Nystrom is the author of Plussie Galore how i became acquainted with this person is a long sorted twisted story of how the interwebs can introduce you to a slew of people. "just like you". 

i think she discusses a topic that is important and is something that us forty something year olds struggle with more than most of us care to admit. as some of you have read in previous post i do sometimes tend to rant and rave about the pressures of being the proper size according to charts, designers and those do gooders.

our generation helped to catapult Seventeen Magazine into the tween / teen fashion conglomerate it is today. with its glossy adds of Ralph Lauren, Espirit, Express, Bennaton and J. Crew we were bombarded with fresh faced perfect smiles and very skinny girls. and if i could only afford anything that was in that magazine then maybe i too could be that beautiful and happy. alas, 80's fashion was not my friend and i ended up looking like an early version of the now version of k-fed. stupid.

body image and your ability to believe that you are just as beautiful if not more than what you see in a magazine can be quite the distraction. when you work hard at eating well and exercising because you have this vision of yourself wearing ripped jeans and a white t-shirt with a cowboy hat playing guitar in front of the fire. or the sun dress for that perfect summer day having cocktails on the deck. or the bathing suit that you finally feel comfortable in and you don't have to be covered in a wrap. that vision is quickly blown to pieces by the variety of size charts and their ability to suck the life out of you. 

what is a 10 in one store is a 14 in another is a 16 someplace else. does anybody out there realize that most women have boobs? i swear there isn't a button shirt available in the market place that will fit properly across my chest. and its annoying because i happen to look really good in button shirts. unless i want to spend an absurd amount of money to have them custom made it is not in the cards. but what about those pretty dresses? ever try to squeeze your girls into the premade cups. whose boobs are shaped that way? and why did you do that? apparently i could be a 36 DD as long as my rib cage is no bigger than 22. that's as far as the zippers go my friends. right up to the middle of my back and fashion reminds me yet again that "you" young lady are not made to dress pretty. 

its frustrating. but more than that it manages to wipe out any shred of self esteem that you may have gathered even if you have lost weight. you obviously did not loose enough and you are obviously much fatter than anyone is letting on. and then it starts. the mental flogging begins and spirals until you just can't stand to look at yourself a moment longer. unfortunately this is not just me.

i recently had a conversation with a very good friend of mine. this woman is a mother, a wife and a great friend. she is funny only when she chooses to be and worries constantly about everything around her. she is also fit, petite, and at one point i'm pretty certain she could crack a walnut with her shoulder blades. and yet she struggles with the same things. well maybe not exactly the same. but the issues are similar. my reply? we're women we all have issues. 

but why? why so many self esteem problems? when i look at all my girlfriends i think they are so awesome. so amazing. so stylish and funky. i don't have one original style that i've created myself. unless you qualify sweats and t's. i pretty much have designed this trend since i was 15 years old. all my styles are a mish-mash of my friends. and yes, i do have girly conversations about lip gloss - eye shadow - all make up - soaps - shampoos - perfumes. do you know how easy it to compliment someone by saying. "i totally love the lipstick you are wearing" if you don't you should try it. it does the following: A) makes them feel that spending the money was worth it B) total self esteem booster and C) they will expound on how awesome it is and where you can buy it. 

if there was a way to wave a magic wand that made everyone else just shut it i would wave it like bathroom spray. and no matter what "they" say. you are awesome. i am awesome. and who cares about the rest.