A Post From Dude

i

am a

big brown beautiful maaaaaaaaaaaaaan

so, you know sometimes

when your peoples bring home a present for you

and it is totally not at all what you were expecting?

this is how i feel

to be blunt

dudes are angrimations somethin fierce

you see

it's myyyyyy ball

it's myyyyyyy chuckit

it's myyyyyyy maaaaah

it's myyyyyyyyyy daaaaaaaad

it's myyyyyyyyyyy puke duck or "pd"

or petey both work just fine thank you

it's myyyyyyyyyyyyyy muckle toy

it's myyyyyyy cooookie

it's myyyyy house

it's all mine

nobody prepared me for this responsibility

and nobody even taaaalks like dudes any more

everyone around here all thinks they sound like kansas

when really dudes think they all sound stupid

my voice is sweet loving soft and gentleofthenations

and although i think its great that daads finally built a big beautiful 

dog house

with heat

and

straw

and a porch

and my own sign

i prefer to be in the snuugly awesomeness of their bed

during the day

maaaaas working from myyyyyyyy room and i get kicked out

because that thing they brought home got fired

so i bark just like this alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day long

"wooof"

"woofwooofwooooooooo"

"woof"

"woof"

"wooof-wooof"

"wooof"

"woofwooofwoooooooo"

"woof"

"woof"

"wooof-wooof"

it pisses my maaaah off

you know how i know that?

because earlier this week she came out after a five hourmatationnations

of my woof marathon 

and said 

enough!

to which i totally agreed

enough! is right are we getting rid of it?

my bad really i was obviously on the wrong subjectamatation

no happy happy joy joy to see dudes

nope 

we just went inside and she told me to go lay down. 

which i did but jeeeez do you really have to 

give me the hairy eye?

dudes hate hairy eye

very scary stuff right there

so 

for the rest of this week i've had the great pleasure of 

lounging where ever i want in myyyyyyyyy house

i haven't barked once!

and who gets their stickin name up on the freakin calendarmadaranation?

i give you one guess.

like i said earlier dudes are not impressimated by any of this.

but i do get extra cookies and dudes enjoy that.

a lot.

so what will dudes be doing this weekend?

tonight is datenightamatations dinner so i'll be in the back of the car

being good

and not chewing on maaaaahs seatbelts

then saturdayofthenations??

its my maaaaaahs birthday 

apparently we and i say we meaning we

are making yummy foods because there is a hockey game!!!!!

everyone is really excited around here for that

i'm pretty sure that there will be some glorious dude walks too.

that's all dudes have for now

have a safe and dudealicious weekend!