The 10 Commandments Of Schultz

Once upon a time there was an Superior German Shorthair named Fuddius P Duddius, Sweetie Beetie Pumpkin Pie kissed the girls and made them naaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHH! Who walked around the compound humming his favorite theme song ---- idey idey idey I kiss ME chocolate ARSE. Hore-Hay or George as he was sometimes referred to loved nothing more then to survey his land and have his minions or HUMANS bow down to the King Of Turd Town. On a fine late summer day after the King Punum Pie left his castle to find his frog he left behind a specific set of rules for what he referred to as The Town Idiot and all the other dumb dummies to follow. Below is the original version of Schultz's 10 commandments as found posted inside The Dudes crate.........

• Everything you see in this Kingdom belongs to me....close your eyes, thats yours
• I will be fed on demand and at all of my castles, you will stay home with You and like it. 
• Me and I* are one in the same, you will never be either of those things. 
• MUG = MY unkle Greg not YUG = your unkle Greg that just sounds stupid which you are
• Just because I broke Great Grampas hip doesn't make it OK for you to attempt the same.
• If you think for one second that brown box's do not carry mice....think again
• Gramma loves me best you will never surpass my greatness in this area - you are weak and stupid
• The bells on the door are there to alert YOU** that IT*** needs to go out...try using them once in a while dummie
• The garage trick is a trade mark move. Attempt that and I will haunt your life - FOREVER
• Dummie brown thug you will never be me...so always know that I had it way better than you....

So sayeth the PUNAM

* Me and I = my Dad and Me or Me and MY Dad they are interchangeable depending on the situation
** YOU = my mother....I picked ME before I knew of YOU
*** IT = the great brown dummie...the readers out there know him as Oskar or "the dude".