I have neglected my SPACE ~

I've been running around like a killer bee these last few days. I have pictures to post....and things to say. I have been reading a lot of different things out there in the blogesphere. I'm always surprised by the unique individuals and their funny and sometimes sad stories. Based on some of these reads I started thinking about when I was a teenager. Its all kind of a blur up until about 18 or so.

People who don't know me don't truly understand how pathetically shy I am. Having to go into situations where I knew nobody would cause me to silently have a massive panic attack. Sweats even. So to overcome that challenge I would make jokes typically about myself. It draws the flaws out right away so we can just get past that and move on to the good stuff. But I was certainly a moody teenager at best.

On my first day of High School my Dad drove me. He talked to me about how the next four years were going to be very hard and that it was important to do my very best. All the decisions I made over the next four years were going to impact the rest of my life. At the time I was thinking jeeze Dad a little heavy for a 14 year old I'm only worried about my hair, clothes, shoes and fitting in with an entire school of people that I didn't know. But I distinctly remember that conversation. Somethings do sink in Dad....even if I do make bad choices sometimes. When I wanted to stop doing gymnastics I told my Dad first. We were doing dishes. I had been thinking about it for a really long time. I wanted to be involved with H.S. sports like soccer but I couldn't do both. Gymnastics consumed my life from the moment I got up until I went to bed. Competing was harder than anyone knows. The success, the failure the grueling workout schedule. If I wasn't home I was at the gym. Besides - my Dad and I use to watch the ABC nightly movies and re-write the script all the way through. It was such a good time for us. My brothers were both in the military and my sister was too little. My Mom had to work nights so it was just us. It was good father daughter time. And I always knew I could tell him anything..no matter how hard.

One weekend we had to drive to Keene for a gymnastics meet. I remember that I was feeling very ill. You know the kind of ill that makes your lungs burn with every breath. I slept most of the way there. When we arrived my Dad looked at me and said are you sure that you want to compete today? My idiot response...of course Dad I just got a new leotard for optionals. During my last tumble pass I totally blacked out. We went home and I was feeling bad about having a bad meet. And he said, Don't worry Ren you can bring home the bacon next time. That is what he called it when I placed. So I would come through the door shouting..Look Dad I brought home the Bacon!!

Wow - and epic post about how much I love my Dad....

As a teenager there were outside influences. Good and positive influences that for what ever reason just got me. Bill Brouillet - he now owns and operates Locomotion Gymnastics in Somersworth NH. This poor guy had to put up with my cranky pants more than anybody else. But some how he managed to figure out that I was full of it. He pushed me to be a better gymnast. He was the only coach I ever had that I truly felt believed in me. And he just had a knack of being able to talk pop-culture and add a little bit of his influence too. When he left coaching, my parents thought this is why I didn't want to do gymnastics anymore. Admittedly I was really upset. But it was just another tick in the box of a long laundry list of reasons. Bill was a surrogate brother for me. Both my brothers were over seas and I missed them. Although I didn't figure that out until years later. I feel lucky that I had him as a coach. He truly was the best of the best in my opinion.

Mrs. Keller - My Seventh grade homeroom teacher and Science teacher. Every one was afraid of this woman. I always thought she was awesome. Because she told it like it was. She didn't try to cream puff anything and treat you as though you were a 12 year old idiot. She let you make mistakes in her class and she also made sure that you learned the lesson of those mistakes. She truly became my hero as I was being called a [B&%ch] by my English teacher in the hallway. I was crying - Miss Robin Hayes was screaming at me on volume 11 and Mrs. Keller came around the corner like a crazy woman. She excused me and proceeded to dish out exactly what was being done to me. The last thing I heard as I went into the girls room was..."there how does that make you feel."

My current Boss - Because I know he reads this I'll try not to fluff it up to much [ but if I do can I have raise???] I met Dana - when I was a young 20 year old mis-fit with a giant and I mean GIANT attitude. I had taken a job as a Data Entry clerk for a little tiny company called Cabletron Systems. My boss at that time had purchased two Apple Computers and paid me overtime to come in on the weekends to learn how to use them. I later started drafting my own programs and macros and was working in the Quoting department. For those who don't know --- I had been denied a sales position in this company twice. One dumb dumb told me that my talents were better suited for administrative work. I responded with... I'll still be here in six months and you won't. I'm not typically one to hold my tongue. So, when Dana came on board - everyone told me that I should talk to him. Honestly I didn't want to. I couldn't handle being rejected again. With much reluctance I asked him if we could set up a meeting to talk. He said sure...I'm in the office at 7 AM meet me then. I got there at 6:50 and waited.

This is how my sales pitch went down. "I want to be a sales rep for this department!!! Don't tell me that I can't!!! Don't tell me that I'm better suited for administrative work. Or that this company doesn't promote admin to sales. I can do this job as good as anybody if not better.!!!" I can't remember exactly what he said to me. And I'm fairly certain he was laughing at me. I think he told me to relax and that he would think about it. Think about it? Well ROCK ON cause that's not a NO! I then proceeded to terrorize him until I got what I wanted. Although he certainly handed out his share of projects to keep me at bay. Type this, re-format this, design this, on and on. And each time I would run off. Set a goal for completion and walk back in and say..."Done!" He had a way of knowing when my fuse was at its shortest point and I think saved many people from a verbal slaying by a girl who didn't...how should I say...know how to gild the lily. When I left for a new job I was terrified to tell him. I sat at his kitchen table and cried because he had put his neck out on the line for me and I was going to work someplace else. He taught me everything I know about how to be a grown up in a "work environment" even though it pains me. And as I approach my 40th birthday It's strange to think that its been 20 years we've worked together.

There is a common theme with these people. They all tell it like it is. No beating around the bush. No false hopes. No unattainable expectations. Just honest right through.

Who inspired you?